TUESDAY LAUGHS : NOTHING ON TV ?

Pookie watches too much crime stories on TV !

Yesterday evening I was sitting happily on my sofa, with an icecream in one hand, the remote control in the other and Pookie rolled up like a little snail on my knees with the intention to watch a wonderful Love Story with a lot of dramas, misunderstandings an then a happy end.

Mr. Gattino had a nice book to read (probably about the Mafia, he likes it) so I was alone and could choose what I liked. Not that we have any problems in watching TV together, we always try to find a compromise. If that is not possible, then we watch our things separated.

So I looked for my love romance. We have about 70 channels of cable TV and I really were convinced to find something. I had quite some choice as I could watch in german, french, english, italian and even the dutch/flemisch channels as they are mostly subtitled in english. I started to zap.

First France, a stupid talk show with a guy who took himself for the belly bottom of the world and found himself very charming. I got bored and changed.

Now I saw the series of the "Experts" (scientific police investigators), don't remember the title in english. They were just busy to find out what the victim had eaten. They digged with tweezers and other medical instruments in his stomac, and you had a lovely view on a disgusting dark colored mass which looked like vomit.

I looked at my nice ice cream and changed quickly. Next was another crime story where the pathologist just fumbled in red meat looking for a lost bullet while the blood dropped from the table. I wondered from which animal the meat came from it could hardly be the "dead" actor's flesh.

l went on and hoped to find my romantic movie, and yes I found it ! Finally ! He kissed her passionately, but then, behind her neck he suddenly had a nylon (I suppose, I am not yet an expert) string in his hand and what did he do ? He strangled her !! Isn't this a shame ? She dropped on the floor with open loving eyes and died.

I got enerved ! This was definitely not a romantic movie and I switched to the next channel. This time it was something very interesting for me, a Golf game ! An old bold guy stand there like a statue, with his club in one hand and looked concentrated at a hole as if a mouse or a mole would come out.

After a while, as nothing came out of the hole not even a worm, I didn't follow this event further and zapped again. Some arabs with their checkered kitchen towel on their haeds and some soldiers in their camouflage uniform with big guns in their hands looked at each other and before anything could happen or somebody got shot, I changed, that was not for me I am a peaceful person.

I looked angrily at the screen, still no love story ! This time I saw a masked black dressed person jumping out of a bush on a peacefully walking women, a blade was glittering in the moonshine (this was romantic, I mean the moonshine) and ....stabbed her in the chest ! I didn't wait for the blood streaming out and went further. Now it became better, a scientific explanation about spiders, beatles, worms and other disgusting beasts which I dearly love, so I switched before a hairy spider was zoomed.

Elephants ! that I like, they are cute, not so easy to keep in a house but still they are nice animals. Maybe not so good companions for my cats, they could step on them and I love my cats and not cat pancakes.

After mass car accidents, floods, fire, bombings, bank attacs and other catastrophies, I finally gave up and realized that there was nothing, but absolutely nothing on TV. I wonder why we pay for it ?

I moved an angry Pookie from my knees and looked through our CDs which I hadn't watched yet. And what did I find ? CDs of my son, full of science fiction, crime stories and other stuff of no interest to me ! Offended, I switched off the TV, picked up Pookie and retired in my bed with a book ! But before I checked if there were no bloodstaines on the floor.