ELECTIONS SEEN BY AN OUTSIDER

PC = Personal cat

For the Blogging chicks

Pookie sat on the floor and pulled on her claws. She did her pedicure. I watched her and then I said, you know what ? Today I will write about elections. Pookie interrupted her important occupation and gave me a doubtful look !

Now I have to say I were never allowed to vote, not why I didn't want to but because I live in a foreign country. In Germany I am not allowed to vote because I am living in Belgium. In Belgium I am not allowed to vote because I am German, although I live here since more then 40 years and it would be the only country where really I know what to vote.

In Italy I am allowed to vote (as I also am Italian by marriage) but there I don't know whom and don't even know names, besides of the president.

So I watch since years as an outsider, not very much interested in politics, the funny side of elections. Especially those which I knew and I am confronted with, that means the communal elections here in my town.

Now we are surrounded by posters of suddenly very handsome men, which is a real miracle because in real life they look completely different. They must probably have lost some weight, or put some on, bought new suits, shirts and ties, not to forget the shoes for shy people to look at. And of course they have an irresistible smile on their face. (Usually they look as if they had just a glass of vinegar).

My friend Guiseppe who has a very expensive boutique for men fashion in Brussels and where almost all male politicians do their shopping, profits now from a blooming sales business of a.m. articles. He really likes elections and is very proud when one of the politicians he had dressed up is doing his boring speach in TV. Then Giuseppe gets crazy from happiness he jumps up slaps on my shoulder and shouts "look, look, this suit is from my shop" and we all confirm that the guy now looks much better.

So in every corner there are postures with men (and some women, not very much) looking with a friendly, careing face on you. You could melt like an ice cream in the sunshine. Suddenly everything is possible ! You ask for something you get it (of course only when he is elected) but this is a promise and you can count on it. The election over and you ask why the promise were not helt they usually even don't remember having said that.

And then the war begins. Every party is the best and if you vote for them you will live in a paradise. Tax reduction, better health service, salary and pension increase etc. etc. As every party wants to win they dig in the past of the adversary and accuse each other of terrible things such as corruption, excessive sex life, maybe a little rape, homosexulaty and criminals as maybe the guy had stolen an appel in his youth.

Our two candidates for the mayor office look like Laurel and Hardy one is big and the other one is a tiny skinny minnie. The big one shows his election charm by inviting people (especially the eldest and the poorest) shows up in all kindergardens and schools and play Teddy or football with them and shake hands with the beaming parents. He also promises a lot and we could be sure that life here in Waterloo would be the best in whole Belgium or even the world

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The skinny minnie, bought a new car a Mercedes Smart, which looks like an egg with four wheels and is very expensive. That suits him very well, as his size fits perfectly with the size of the car. And to make sure that everybody notices him he had it painted with his name as big as the car and a wonderful photo of him on which he looks like a film star. With that he drives around in every street and every corner and it's amazing that he hasn't got a ticket yet. He does the same as the above mentioned big one and listening to him we would all be rich and no poor people would exist in this town. He shows up at every event where a lot of people are to shake hands and did it with me four times. Yes because I just went by in front of him four times so he automatically grapped my hand to shake it. Of course each time I got the impression as if I were the most important person in the whole world until I told him that unfortunately I couldn't vote for him as I were german. He dropped my hand like a hot potatoe smiled a false smile and went away. I was offended that he had shaked my hand four times, without noticing that it was the fourth time, especially because I am one head taller then him.

So the show goes on with street and building repairs, new furniture and computers for school and municipal offices, parties, visits etc. and I sit here and am amused and smile .... and will check on all promises they gave. After the elections.

Pookie meanwhile sitting on the floor and looking at me with questioning eyes : are the big and skinny one love cats ? I said of course they do and very much ! (until after the elections)