18.4.07

13 THINGS WHICH ALWAYS HAPPEN IN A MOVIE

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1. Everybody can land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to explain to you what you should do.

2. A ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can go to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

3. With one gun you can shoot for an hour without ever reloading it

4. A man will show no pain while tortured, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

5. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing parade even when it's past midnight.

6.When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

7. When staying in a haunted house, women always investigate any strange noises half naked

8. It's always a mere child's play to find a complicated password to log in the bank account of a criminal;

9.Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

10. Even when driving on a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel from left to right every few moments.

11. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out all of them.

12. All peasants, homeless, or beggars have always perfect teeth,

13.Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.

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CAT THURSDAY THIRTEEN here.

24 comments:

colleen said...

And they never watch the road when the drive! This is a great list!

In Virginia you can buy a gun once a month! If they ask if you've been committed for mental problems you can say NO even if the answer is yes.

Jennifer McK said...

My favorite is the one where a man will wince when a woman cleans his wound.

Hilarious. Good list.

Something else that always happens in a movie?

The bad guy will shoot a million times and miss. The good guys aims true.

Wylie Kinson said...

Great list!
Here's another one:
No one ever turns on the lights when investigating a crime scene. Think X-Files, CSI's - all of em, etc... They point their flashlights around and never think to flip on the overheads. WTF???

YellowRose said...

Ain't that the truth!!! You nailed it with this 13!!!

Happy 13!!

she said...

Don't forget that whenever a person gets behind the wheel of a car someone else was driving (cop partner, etc.) they never need to adjust the mirrors or seats. Everything is always set correctly, even if there's a good foot difference in the height of the two characters!

Thomma Lyn said...

Hee hee! What a hilarious list! And here's another one: in many of the old horror flicks, it never mattered how slow the monster was, it could always, somehow, catch up to the fleeing heroine even if she was running her legs off to get away.

Happy TT!

Barbara said...

I was watching a movie other night where they were crawling through the ventilation system and thought,anyone could hear them in real life.

#11 reminded me of Chuck Norris in Ranger Walker. :)

Check out my TT.

Pamela said...

we always get the emergency broadcasting message with the long whistle just when our favorite villain is preparing to tell his crucial information to the detective...

Damozel said...

That's a fantastic list---I'm going to email the link to my husband, who is sort of obsessed with film cliches. He's mentioned the cars bursting into flame one, but most of them I have never really thought about before. The martial arts one made me laugh out loud. Villains in films really are very polite about waiting to attack in turn...!

Ingrid said...

ha ha!!! so funny yet they're all so true!!! you are one very observant woman!!! isn't it strange that that actually happens in movies scenes? hmmmm, they're really messing with our brains!!

mar said...

Wonderful!!! I know why I never became a movie star, when I check if the front door is locked before I go to bed I wear un-sexy flannel pj's, no make up and ear plugs...
Hi Gattina!!! bin zurueck :)

Darla said...

These are so fun. When watching DVDs at home with the kids, we often point out a lot of these. I particularly like the computers on movies. Whenever text comes up, it always shows up one word at a time, and sounds like a teletype machine, even if the computer looks perfectly modern.

And I'm always amazed that the few times someone does run out of ammunition in a movie, they always just throw the gun away. Aren't those things expensive? LOL

Of course, villains are usually ugly or foreign or both.

Robin said...

What a great list! I love it. You'd think that someone would occasionally check those darn air vents already.

Happy TT.

Irish Church Lady :) said...

I love #4 and #13! For once I would like to see a movie where none of this comes true!! Hollywood ~ are you listening?! hee hee

Melli said...

ROFL! True! Every one of 'em! Will you do cartoons next? People always pop back up after having grand pianos fall on them from 18 floors up!

gabriella hewitt said...

Gattina, you always make me laugh! This is such a funny TT list and you really called it. I take it you watch lots of Hollywood movies? ;-)

Mia said...

That's a great list and oh so very true!

Hootin'Anni said...

This is just so perfect Gattina!! I love it.

And I will take your advice that you left me about spammers. I woulda never thought of it. You're very clever! Indeed.

Oh, and one more thing....about cars...the good guys' cars can roll over 20 times and the 'star' comes out, walking. But the bad guys' cars can roll over once and DEAD as a Doornail!!

Mercy's Maid said...

Very funny and true. Thanks for the laugh.

JAM said...

I used to have an old Ford pickup truck whose steering was so loose that I actually had to do that with the steering wheel.

That's why I don't like horror movies; who actually goes TOWARD a strange and scary sound.

Mom Unplugged (formerly "Mom of 3") said...

I am laughing so hard! What a great list! All true, although many I had not noticed until I read them here. I would have to add: When hearing scary noises in the night outside, people always go outside to check it out! (and the women would be half naked as you point out in #7). Would you do that? NOT ME!

TeaMouse said...

What a fun list - I never even noticed most of those - except for the no need to reload one - that always gets me laughing.

Happy TT!

JennyMcB said...

This was a read aloud list with my son and husband. We loved it!

Tink said...

That is a great list and so right! Those things always strike me too!
Thanks for visiting my collections TT. I'm a bit late doing my TT round, been busy!