PC Pookie would sleep in her suitcase leaving plenty of hairballs in it.
Your mother in law askes you if she could come and stay for a few days. If you like her there is no problem, you just receive her with joy and you spend a few nice days together. But what when you don't like her and you are getting already sick only by the thought of her arrival ? Then read these 13 tips.
1. You try to convince her not to come by telling her the electricity is broken, water stands in the bathroom, the toilet is leaking, a wall broke down etc. If she is a do it yourself woman, that doesn't work. If she likes her comfort, then it probably would.
2. You invoke the bad weather, snow, rain, storm, tornados ! Everthing is good
3. You tell her that you are sick, you have a big cold and it would be better for her if she would come another time. This is only valid for mother in laws who are afraid of microbes. If they have hidden talents as nurses, then you have to find something else.
4. If she likes your company, just tell her that she is heartly welcome, but you have a few appointments and unfortunately no time to walk her around.
5. If she is very independant and likes to go and visit things alone, you just say that you have to stay home because of a sprained ankle and you cannot drive her around.
6. Never ever mention that your partner is not feeling well ! This would be a catastrophe, because then she would run, drive or fly over immediately without even asking.
7. You tried all human resources, nothing to do ! She arrives.
8.. You leave the door open and lay on your sofa reading a book. You great her with : "Ah you are already here ?" pointing out "ah"
9. You ask her to put her stuff in the guestroom, which of course you had left as it was before, with laundry to be folded, empty cartons and dirty shoes.
10. You sigh and excuse yourself for the mess and disceetely mention, she could fold the laundry and clean the shoes.
11. In the morning you slurp uncombed in the kitchen, and tell her with a lot of regrets and excuses that there is no coffee anymore, you forgot the bread and you have to go out to get some.
12. You go to your friend have coffee with her and come back for lunch. You suggest that she invites you, because you forgot your wallet with all your cards and couldn't buy any food.
13. On TV you choose a documentary about spiders, beatles, flees, ants or other ugly disgusting insects, if she hates it, if she loves it choose a horror film with a lot of shooting, killing and blood floating over the screen. Be sure to know her taste.
to be continued .../... any suggestions ???