It's always a very instructive morning when I go to my fitness club swimming. I don't use the torture machines, I only make my little rounds in the water and then, sitting in the Yakuzzi, we chat. With "we" I mean the women who are there, and usually it's always very interesting. This time women started to complain about man. Me included of course.

The just freshly married women complained that she hasn't got any flowers or been taken to the restaurant or mouvies last weekend. (The older once have abondonned these subjects long time ago) and bitterly reproached him that he is always working. (the older once got cross eyed).

The longer married once complained about husband's staying at home during 2 full days meddling into children education, food, house or other things she during the week handles alone.

The very long married once (30 to 50 years) who have the honor to have their husbands around the whole day just listened and started thinking about such nice times when he or both were working .

Since my husband is retired, told us one, he suddenly asks me why I peel the potatoes that way. That way ! I have always done it like that ! He thinks that my peeling is far to thick and that for this reason it's a waste !

Sombody suggested : Why don't you give him the bowl with potatoes and ask him to show you how he does it so that you could learn. And waiting until he has peeled the last potatoe to agree that his peeling is better. But this suggestion was refused by everybody as none of the husbands had ever peeled a potatoe in their lives.

Another one said, yes, and since he is at home he is always in my way he checks if the vaccuum cleaner is emptied or asks me why i put everything in the dishwasher instead of just cleaning one plate or cup immediately. (these few things ! we are only two)

Then all of them spoke together : he suddenly had discovered that a letter box has to be emptied every day, the garbadge been put out and that he has to look up the date when bottles or cartons are been taken.

He is quite asthonished that dirty socks, shirts, shorts etc. have to be put in the dirty laundry basket, that the washing machine turns such a long time and is consuming electricity, that he has to go shopping otherwise there is no food on the table and that a breakfast has to be prepared (before he disappeared in the bathroom). And then all these suggestions ! How it would be better if .... Even when it had been done that way for an eternity. And then came up a crucial subject SNORING.

The freshly married women had nothing to say about that. The longer married once had some complaints, but the older once ! That became dramatic ! So I heard (and suddenly didn't feel alone any more) that,he snores like a motor saw laying on the back with his mouth wide open so that you can see if he has brushed his teeth.

He makes strange noices like snorting (coming out of water) etc. Everybody agreed enthousiastically and some even added more strange behaviours. And then the truth : in spite the fact that all concerned women hit, shaked, slapped the poor snoring husband or whistled to him every 15 min they couldn't sleep any more and then killer instincts came up.

Taking a knife and stab him ? No, too much blood and then blood stains are difficult to remove. What else? A cake roll, smashing on his head that he would stop it !!! Or taking the pillow and choke him ? That's a clean job. Whatever the means, it IS illegal and already written in the bible that you shouldn't kill.

Finally the whole group agreed, they all took their pillow and moved out in the living room or guestroom. Which disturbs sometimes the poor dogs or cats living in the house who don't know anymore with whom spending the night.

The more honest onced dared to say that they have now a seperated bedroom and that this way it's much better and that now they have less killer instincts. The others agreed but had no room.

In the afternoon I listen to one of my friends with whom I had lunch, complaining that her husband controls how the bed is made, the towels are "filed" in the closet, no dust is in the corners, no clothes laying around and he is checking on the cleaning woman but only for cleaning, nothing else. I made huge eyes and told myself I would rather suggest him to stay in his room otherwise I could forget myself.

So I concluded, every wife has a big burden to carry on her shoulders. But it becomes less heavy when you talk about it !


Vin said...

nice one !!
Men love to stand and supervise and advise.. but they never will do anything .....

Moobear said...

Oh MY, I sure wish I coulda been there! I just know I would have gotten a lot of good laughs. It is a proven fact that a group of women can always find a way to have fun. Too bad you cross the big water from me. :(
God Bless!

ROFL ---ever notice how funny some of the word verifications are? This was near naughty... hehe
pronouncem next time :)

That Cleaning Lady said...

I laughed reading about the woman saying her recent retired husband asking how come she peels potato's that way? My mother complained when my dad retired because he was always watching her and asking why she did this or that some way or another, driving her crazy!!!
My dad snored so bad I remember one night waking up from a dream that someone was cutting down our fence with a chainsaw, and I could hear my dad snoring in their bedroom. My mom never left their room when he snored, I don't know how she stood it.
As for me and Chris, he works graveyard shift and so sleeps days and is gone nights. I take care of the housework and he takes care of the yard work. So far (only 5 years) he doesn't ask about what works or how, but has tried to tell me how to make a bed or make a dinner because he is picky. I always throw the offer to him to do it himself. Since he is a much better cook than me, he does a lot of cooking, and I'm happy about that. He doesn't mind making a mess and I don't mind cleaning it up. Ihope we are together 50 years so I can laugh with my girlfrends then... if I have any!!